Comcast Sucks.

For the past 6 months my cable service has been getting shut off like clockwork every ~2 months due to “lack of payment”  This lack of payment on my part has been due to the fact that the automatic payments on configured for whatever reason do not work and I receive no notice of such.  Apparently despite the fact that Comcast has been authorized to literally pull money straight out of my checking account each month, I am holding out on them.

I’ve been on the phone with their lovely support people several times in the last 6 months trying to get this rectified, but it happened again this week and I had finally had enough.  “Ok,” I thought, “I’ll just cancel the stupid automatic bill pay, let them send me the statement, and pay the bill myself each month.”  Easy enough for somebody who lives out of a calendar of reminders anyway, right?

Nope!

I login to their website and attempt to change my settings.  The options I am presented with for automatic payment are as follows:

Notice I have selected the one option which indicates my intended action!

When I hit “Next”, the following screen appears:

Notice the big red error that references a completely different option from the one I selected!

 

So I think to myself, “ok, that’s fucked up!”  Given my light-to-moderate customer service experience at this point, I decide that I will open a support ticket with Comcast.  I write them a nice, succinct message which outlines what I am trying to do, the problem I am seeing, and the desired outcome:

Name: Ryan Merholz
Address: ******************
City: Chicago
State: IL
Zip: *****

Home Phone: **********
Email: ******************

–
Problem: Billing/General Inquiry

Comments:
I am trying to change my payment options on the Comcast website and it
is behaving strangely.  I am attempting to cancel my automatic bill pay
as I would like to start paying my bills manually each month.

When I go to the settings and select “Cancel automatic monthly payments”
and click Save, it works for a second and then fails with the error
message “Credit/Debit card payments are currently restricted on the
account; please choose another payment method. If you cannot complete
your payment, please visit your local Comcast service center.”

Please can someone change this setting for me?  The error makes no sense
for what I am trying to do.

This morning I received the following response (with infuriating portions highlighted in red):

Dear Ryan,

Thank you for contacting Comcast Email Support. My name is Kristine and
I appreciate the time you took to email us regarding your online billing
concern. I hope you are having a great day.

I understand that you wanted to cancel the recurring payment method on
the account. I know how important it is to have this concern be properly
addressed immediately in order for you to better manage your services
and expenses. I am glad that you took the time to email us your concern.
Rest assured that I will look into this and provide steps on how you
will be able to cancel recurring monthly payments on the account.

Ryan, I have provided below the steps on how you will be able to cancel
your recurring payment method on the account.

1. Login to your account at:

https://customer.comcast.com/Public/Home.aspx?eqs=

2. Click on the Account & Bill tab in customerCentral.
3. Click Manage automatic payments in the Billing Summary section.
4. At the bottom of the Manage automatic monthly payments screen, click
Cancel automatic monthly payments.
5. Click Next.

Please note that it will take 24 to 72 hours for the changes to take
effect. If you have an outstanding balance, we recommend that you Make a
One-Time Payment to avoid late fees and disruption of your service.

If you have any questions or follow up inquiries, feel free to reply to
this email or you can chat with one of our Online Customer Support
Specialists who are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week at:

http://www.comcastsupport.com/chat

Please be sure to have any of the following for verification purposes:

1. Comcast Account Number.
2. Last four digits of the Social Security Number associated with the
Account.
3. Service address, Account name, and Phone number;
4. Date and amount of last payment made.
5. A list of Comcast services that is installed in your home.

Please take note of this reference number should you contact us back
regarding the same issue. Your reference number is 4040376.

Thank you for choosing Comcast, Ryan. I am glad that you have given us
the opportunity to assist you today with your online billing concern. We
really do appreciate your business. Have a nice day!

Sincerely,

Kristine
Comcast Customer Care Specialist

And now I hate Kristine, too, because she really only achieves the first 25% of her title.

The resolution provided to me by the largest cable company on the face of the Earth is to complete the steps which I outlined for them in my original request.  Which means all Kristine really did for me was read the first sentence of my email and then drool on herself before copy/pasting “canned response #157” into an email to me, in turn forcing me to now have to call and spend 45 minutes on the phone with somebody else from this god-forsaken institution.

Thank you Comcast – I am glad to work at a company where this type of customer service would get my ass fired.